1. Plan ahead. Part of what makes the holidays stressful is the unpredictability of social situations and large crowds. Unpredictability naturally brings about anxiety. Gather information about social events before you attend so you know what to expect. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Expect travel delays and difficulties.
2. Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. Choose conversation topics that are not likely to induce conflict.
3. Acknowledge your feelings. Many people dread the holidays because their inner experience is so different from what is being hyped. Holidays can remind us of the loss of loved ones or other difficult life experiences. Your feelings are valid and important.
4. Seek support. Enlist support for organizing holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don’t have to go it alone. If you feel isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. Getting involved and volunteering can lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
5. Be prepared. Identify and practice your helpful coping strategies at a time when you are not feeling high levels of stress. The more prepared you are before hand, the less you have to think on your feet during a stressful situation.
6. Stick to a budget. Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget to avoid feeling anxious and tense for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Happiness is not bought with an avalanche of gifts.
7. Learn to say no. Generally, people will understand if you can’t do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you’ll avoid feeling resentful, bitter and overwhelmed.
8. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it’s to the bathroom for a few moments of solitude. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
9. Practice good self care. Watch your diet and remember to exercise. Fats and sweets can reduce energy, which can make you feel more stressed and run down. It can be very helpful to take a walk before and/or after a big holiday meal. Prioritize a good night’s sleep.
10. Forget about perfection. Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in real life, people don’t usually resolve problems within an hour or two. Something always comes up and throws plans off. Accept imperfections in yourself and in others. Keep your expectations realistic.