Helping Children Adjust to a Back to School Routine

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Students across the country are heading back to school – some for the first time in over a year as COVID-19 restrictions suddenly changed so much in their lives. As with any big change to a routine, there’s always an adjustment period that can feel challenging for parents, caregivers, and students alike.

With social distancing, masking, and anxiety about getting sick, there’s a good chance that this year will hold even more challenges than usual. Placing a focus on your child’s mental health can make the transition smoother and help everyone feel a little better in the coming months.

Things to Consider in the Back to School Transition

There’s going to be some extra stress this year centered around COVID-19. Many teachers and parents are also experiencing anxiety, which can be passed on to the kids.

Children who have sensory processing disorders, cognitive delays, anxiety, or other mental health challenges may experience heightened stress when returning to school. Discussing this with their teachers and giving them a lot of grace as the school year ramps up is going to be very important.

Try to also minimize any major changes at home in the first couple of months that school is back in session. Maintain as many routines as you can from the summer months to prevent feeling overwhelmed. 

Ways You Can Help Children Adjust to a Back to School Routine

Supporting your child’s mental health is crucial for a successful back-to-school season. There are a few ways you can give them what they need to thrive!

  • Don’t forget about your own mental health. A parent or caregiver who is healthy, relaxed, and has good coping techniques is going to be able to better steer their child through stressful times. Practice good self-care by getting enough sleep, moving your body daily, and eating well.

  • Encourage your child to engage in activities that they enjoy in the evenings! School can feel like it takes over everything, especially for middle and high schoolers. Just like adults, kids and teens need to be able to blow off steam by participating in their favorite hobbies.

  • Stay in contact with their teachers as much as possible to get an idea of what their days are like. Understanding what your child does and does not receive during the day can give you a better idea of how to support them when they walk through the door after a busy day. Additionally, you can get some insight into their social lives.

  • Listen carefully to what your child says and observe their body language at the end of the day. You know your kid better than anyone. If you feel something is off, it probably is. Keep an ear out for any instances of bullying or feeling left out. Talk to your child about acceptable behaviors as well as how to handle feeling isolated. 

  • Get the whole family involved in some mindfulness activity daily. A quick google search will offer many age appropriate exercises, or grab a book on mindfulness for kids from your local library.  Youtube has some great guided exercises complete with age appropriate video demonstrations. Role model for your children and enjoy the added benefit to your own mental health and well being.  

  • Address any worries about COVID-19 and other global issues with gentle honesty. Keep it age-appropriate while being as honest as possible about what’s actually happening. It will help build trust with your child while bolstering their confidence.

You’ll also want to make sure you hit all of the normal staples – a healthy breakfast, plenty of sleep, moving your body, and a routine that works for everyone!

Reaching Out for Help

While a little bit of stress is to be expected, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of your depth, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Schools have great resources available. We recommend downloading this guide from Mental Health America on helping your children adjust to a back-to-school routine, as well.

Have more questions? At GBCC, we have a staff of therapists that have experience working with children aged two and up. Reach out to us today for more information!

Caring for Your Mental Health During a Pandemic

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Back in March of 2020, many people thought that the pandemic was going to be a short-lived issue and that we’d all be back to our normal daily routines within a couple of weeks. Fast-forward to August of 2021, and it’s clear that a lot of changes are here to stay. 

The delta variant, along with constantly changing guidelines and restrictions, has brought coronavirus back to daily mainstream headlines. If you’re feeling a little burnt out on hearing about COVID-19 or are still feeling the ramifications of social distancing, you’re not alone. 

Caring for your mental health during a pandemic is an important part of living a healthy lifestyle and can make it easier to cope with shared trauma like covid-19 or social injustice.

How the Pandemic Creates Added Stress

In “normal” times, everyone experiences stress. Some stress is good and helps us grow, while other stress can be detrimental to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. When these daily stressors are compounded by a global pandemic, it can cause the body to go into constant fight or flight mode. 

This evolutionary trait was incredibly useful for our ancestors and can even be useful today when there’s an immediate danger in front of us. However, we can’t outrun a global pandemic and there’s no physical way to fight it off. The best way to deal with the stress from the pandemic is to practice good self-care and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

Healthy Coping Mechanisms and Self-Care Tips

We’ve recently covered some ways to deal with depression and anxiety. Those tips also can carry over well to handling pandemic stress, so be sure to check out those articles as well!

  • Turn off the news. It’s important to know what’s going on and stay on top of any changes in your immediate area, but once you get any pertinent information, turn off your TV or shut down that news site. Tuning in to the 24-hour news cycle will likely just lead to more stress and anxiety.
  • Get outdoors. Find a local trail or park that isn’t too crowded and soak up some vitamin D. While it may seem trivial, getting fresh air and spending time outdoors can lift your spirits. Try walking with a friend (while keeping your distance) to engage in face time as well.
  • Lose yourself in something you love. When the pandemic first became international news, it felt like nearly everyone worked on perfecting their banana bread and sourdough recipes. Spending time reading, writing, watching a good TV show, or cultivating a long-forgotten hobby can be a great form of self-care and allow you to let your mind wander to something else for a while.
  • Communicate your boundaries. One large source of stress for people right now is telling others what they are and are not comfortable with as far as masking, vaccination, and gatherings go. Being upfront about your comfort zone and respecting your own boundaries is critical for taking care of yourself and feeling okay. 

When to Reach Out for Help

Continuing to care for your mental health during a time of stress or trauma can be difficult, but doing so is important for your overall wellbeing. If you’re starting to feel like the isolation is becoming overwhelming, if you are unable to focus or participate in your daily life activities due to worry or sadness, or you notice that you’re not yourself and your coping tools aren’t working, it’s important to reach out for help.

GBCC has over 60 clinicians on staff with extensive training and experience. We have protocols in place to offer services in a safe environment, including telehealth from your private space, and flexible appointment options to fit your schedule. Don’t hesitate to give us a call at 410.760.9079 or contact us online.

5 Quick Tips for Coping with Depression

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Did you know that nearly 17.3 million Americans are currently diagnosed with major depressive disorder? This number is not insignificant and is likely lower than the true number due to the stigma around seeking out help for mental health concerns. 

Coping with Depression

If you have experienced a depressive episode or currently find yourself in a dark place, the good news is that help is available. These tips for coping with depression can help you get your head above water if you aren’t able to meet with a therapist right away. Depressive symptoms can have a profound negative impact on your relationships, school or work, and personal life.

Recognizing Depression

Depression doesn’t always look like it does in the movies. Many people who experience depression are able to get out of bed in the morning and continue on with their daily lives, though they may not find any enjoyment in it anymore. Depressive symptoms can look different depending on your gender, age, cultural background, and life experiences.  Some common signs of depression include:

  • Feeling guilty or worthless
  • Experiencing insomnia, fatigue, or both
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • No longer enjoying usually pleasurable activities
  • Feeling irritable, angry, or easily annoyed
  • Difficulty concentrating on school or work
  • Withdrawing from family or friends

In serious cases, you may experience thoughts that you would like to hurt yourself or end your life. If you’ve reached this point, please reach out for help either to a trusted resource or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255.

Tips for Coping with Depression

If you’re experiencing a depressive episode, lifting yourself out can feel difficult, but there are a few things that you can do to make yourself feel a little better!

  1. Reach out to a friend – You don’t have to discuss your feelings of depression or do anything serious. Just make time for a phone call or even a face-to-face chat if you’re able. Be sure to reach out to someone that you’re comfortable with so that you can talk freely.
  2. Volunteer for a cause you care about – One of the best ways to cope with depression is to do something for someone else that you feel good about. Whether your style is volunteering for an animal shelter or helping out the local food bank, volunteering your time gets you out of the house and can help you feel a sense of accomplishment.
  3. Get some exercise – When you exercise, your brain naturally releases feel good hormones. Just remember that exercise doesn’t have to be vigorous or difficult. Try walking with a friend, taking up yoga, or swimming. The important thing is just that you’re moving.
  4. Get your eight hours in – Getting eight hours of sleep might seem challenging but it’s so important, especially if you’re experiencing depression. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body runs off of other reserves and craves unhealthy foods, which can further contribute to a deteriorating mental state. Practice turning your electronics off an hour before bed and only using your bedroom for sleep and intimacy for better, quicker sleep.
  5. Challenge your thoughts – While thoughts can seem very real and even painful, they aren’t always true. Stepping back and looking at your thoughts objectively can help you put things in perspective. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so stupid,” after making a mistake, try switching it up to something you’d say to a loved one instead. “You’re human – we all make mistakes and you can always try again!” Catching these unhelpful thoughts regularly takes time, but with practice, turning them around can be a powerful way of coping with depression.

Getting Professional Help for Depression

If depression is starting to make it difficult to handle daily stresses and activities, it may be time to reach out for help. Know that coping with depression isn’t something that you have to do on your own. The team at GBCC provides quality, professional mental health care. 

Reach out to us today at 410.760.9079 for more information.

7 Tips for Coping with Anxiety

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Living with anxiety can be challenging, especially in a world where we’re constantly surrounded by new information. Never-ending streams of news, social media, and instant messaging can make it nearly impossible to disconnect, compounding feelings of stress and anxiety. 

If you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or find yourself dealing with anxious feelings, these tips for coping with anxiety can help you begin to feel better.

Coping with Anxiety

1. Take a Break from Social Media and News

Nearly everyone has a smartphone these days, connecting us to friends, family, and news at all times. With all the changes wrought by COVID-19 and civil unrest over the course of the last year and a half, spending too much time engaging with this information can cause a significant increase in anxiety.

Make a point to put your phone down for a couple of hours each day and switch off the news. Just because your phone allows you to be instantly accessible doesn’t mean you have to be accessible all the time. 

2. Get Moving

Experts recommend 30 minutes of physical activity three to five times a week to improve both physical and mental health. Finding your favorite way to exercise can help you focus on your body instead of racing thoughts. 

Remember, exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous or difficult. Take a walk outside, try a yoga class with friends, or dance it out. Just get your heart rate up and your body moving.

3. Try Breath Exercises or Meditation

Taking slow, deep breaths signals to your brain that you’re okay when it goes into overdrive. You can start out with five deep breaths or try some more complex breathing exercises specifically designed for coping with anxiety.

Guided mindfulness and meditation exercises can also help you learn how to deal with anxiety in the moment. Check out apps like Headspace or Calm or look up some exercises up on YouTube.

4. Practice Good Sleep Hygiene

We’ve all heard the recommendations to get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. While this is always a good benchmark, you also need to consider how well you’re sleeping and what you’re doing before bed. 

Turn off all screens at least half an hour before you go to sleep and make sure you’re avoiding caffeine and alcohol later in the day, as well. Start a simple calming bedtime routine to signal to your mind and body to begin preparing for sleep. Mind racing when it’s time to sleep? Try a worry log earlier in the day to give your brain an opportunity to address those thoughts before bedtime. Doing these things can make it easier to fall asleep and kick nighttime anxiety to the curb. 

5. Use a Grounding Exercise

Breathing exercises are useful but are even more powerful when paired with grounding exercises. Practicing these exercises reminds you to be in the moment and can help you quiet intense emotional distress. 

The five senses exercise is a particularly good one for helping calm anxious thoughts. To do this exercise, you’ll need to look around you and identify:

  • 5 things you can see
  • 4 things you can feel
  • 3 things you can smell
  • 2 things you can hear
  • 1 thing you can taste

While they don’t necessarily need to be in that order, it’s important to focus on all five of the senses somewhere throughout the exercise.

6. Place Your Focus on What You Can Change

One reason for anxious thoughts is fear of what is going to happen; ultimately, though, there’s only so much that you have control over. This is one reason why the Serenity Prayer has been adopted into Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar groups.

Recognizing what you can’t change or control and focusing instead on what you can is a good strategy for coping with anxiety. It allows you to shift your focus so you can take action on the things you can control, such as your own behaviors and responses.

7. Practice Self-Care

Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, it may mean taking a bubble bath with candles. For others, it could be getting together with friends to play a game and blow off some steam. Still others may seek spending time in nature.  Whatever feels right for you, spending time doing the things that fill your cup back up is critical for reducing stress and anxiety.

Schedule time into your day to take care of yourself and stick to it.

While these tips can certainly help when it comes to coping with anxiety, talking with a professional is also a powerful tool. If you feel that anxiety is taking over your life or that you’re having trouble coping on your own, please reach out. Our team is here to help. You can contact us online or give us a call at 410.760.9079.

Responding to First Responder Mental Health Issues

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First responders do critically important work for their communities and often find themselves in traumatic situations or experiencing secondhand trauma. It is not uncommon for first responders to experience mental health issues as a result of the work that they do.

First Responder Mental Health Issues

However, many avoid seeking mental health care services because of stigma, lack of resources, or difficulty finding a therapist that specializes in working with first responders. Providing care related to first responder mental health can result in improved quality of life for both the first responders and their families. 

Common Mental Health Issues for First Responders

While first responders may experience any number of mental health issues, these types of jobs most often result in the following:

  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – Police officers, firefighters, and EMTs, among other first responders, often are present either while a traumatic event is happening or in the direct aftermath. They may witness violent crimes, natural disasters, and situations that put their lives on the line daily. For some, this can result in symptoms of PTSD. 
  • Depression – First responders do rewarding, yet challenging and sometimes sad, work. Seeing sad outcomes or situations day in and day out can quickly result in depression, especially when you factor in the lack of certainty that accompanies first responder work.
  • Anxiety – This disorder can manifest itself as fear of certain tasks, places, or things. Feeling anxious about going to work is common but when it becomes an everyday struggle as a direct result of the work you’re doing, it can become difficult to even consider going. 
  • Substance use disorder – This disorder often co-occurs with others, and very commonly with the three listed above. People with high-stakes jobs or who regularly experience extreme stress may turn to alcohol or drugs to try to relax and take the edge off. Unfortunately, this can manifest into addiction more quickly than most anticipate. 

If you are a first responder or have a loved one who is and start to notice signs of one of these mental health disorders (difficulty sleeping, excessive sleeping, not enjoying hobbies, spending less time with family, or other behaviors out of the norm), please reach out to someone for help. 

Why Specialization in Working with First Responders is Important

First responders need to know that whatever they say in a therapy session is confidential and doesn’t affect their fitness for duty. They need to be able to trust their therapist and know that they have a keen awareness and understanding of what first responders see and do. 

Opening up to a therapist about what’s happening at home or at work can help first responders better work through the things that are bothering them or situations that have resulted in mental health disorders. 

At GBCC Counseling Centers, our therapists guarantee quality confidential care. Additionally, we are in-network with most major insurance companies to make first responder mental health care as accessible as possible. 

If you would like to set up an appointment or have questions, please contact us online or give us a call at 410.760.9079.

The Importance of PTSD Awareness

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June is PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) awareness month. Nearly 8 million adults suffer from PTSD every year, according to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs. This breaks down to 7-8% of the adult population. Children and adolescents can also be diagnosed with PTSD.  

PTSD

If you are currently living with PTSD, please know that you are not alone and that help is available. Increasing your PTSD awareness and understanding is a good place to start when considering seeking treatment or trying to help a loved one.

What is PTSD?

Unfortunately, trauma or really bad experiences can be a common experience in your lifetime.  Nearly everyone witnesses or experiences a traumatic event at some point. However, some individuals who experience a life-threatening event or other trauma can develop PTSD. 

Events that may trigger PTSD include witnessing or being involved in:

  • A bad car accident
  • Military combat
  • Sexual assault
  • The death or injury of another person
  • Abuse, including emotional or physical violence 
  • Serious health problems  
  • Childbirth experiences, such a losing a baby or difficult birth

It’s important to remember that these are just some of the events that can lead to PTSD. Any number of events can result in developing this disorder.

Symptoms of PTSD to Watch For

If you or a loved one have experienced a traumatic event, there are a few symptoms you can look out for to increase your awareness. These symptoms are all common after experiencing trauma; however, if they last for more than a month or are severe, they could be pointing towards PTSD.

Intrusive Memories

Unwanted memories of the event may pop into your mind at any time or you may even experience flashbacks. These memories can also manifest as dreams or extreme emotional reactions to things that remind you of the event.

Mental and Physical Changes

Trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, extreme weight loss or weight gain, and startling easily can all be signs. It is also common to experience sudden mood changes or angry outbursts. Those who witnessed someone else suffering a trauma may also deal with survivor’s guilt. 

Depression Symptoms

Sometimes, PTSD can look like depression. You may lose interest in activities that you once enjoyed and have a difficult time maintaining relationships with loved ones. You may also turn to alcohol or other substances to try to numb or repress traumatic memories. 

Recognizing these symptoms and relating them back to the trauma is critical when raising PTSD awareness. 

What is Treatment Like for PTSD?

Treatments can vary depending on your provider and the type of trauma that you have experienced. Common trauma modalities include exposure based therapy, cognitive processing therapy (CPT), and eye movement and desensitization reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.  Medications can also be utilized, alone or in combination with psychotherapy treatment modalities. 

Therapists who specialize in PTSD take a trauma-informed approach to ensure that you feel safe with them and in therapy before beginning to get to the root of the problem. Treatment can last anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years. Involvement of your support system may also ensure a positive treatment outcome.  

At GBCC Counseling Centers, our highly qualified clinicians provide treatment that is personalized and tailored to the patient. Additionally, we can assist with medication management to ensure a whole mental wellness treatment option.

If you have questions or are seeking to learn more about PTSD awareness, please reach out to us today. You can give us a call at 410.760.9079 or contact us online for more information.

What is Medication Management and Why is it Important?

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Finding the right psychiatric medication for mental health conditions can feel like a never-ending trial and error situation, especially when you’re working with a general practitioner (GP) such as a family doctor or primary care practitioner. GP’s can be helpful for receiving a diagnosis and providing an initial treatment plan, but they don’t always have the necessary training or experience to handle the complicated nuances of psychiatric medication management.  Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners have extensive knowledge and specialized training in providing this care.

Getting your medications right so you can feel better is critical to your wellbeing. Psychiatric medication management, alone or with psychotherapy, can be an important piece as you begin the process of finding healing and balance, leading to a good quality of life.  It is most effective when patients receive medication management at the same practice that they’re also receiving therapy at, as your providers can easily collaborate on your care and treatment plan. 

What is Medication Management?

Medication management for mental health concerns is a specialty that involves an outpatient appointment to gather your physical and mental health history, review diagnoses, analyze past and current medications, and together with your provider make a treatment plan. It involves reviewing past medical records and collaborating with your other practitioners and providers to make the best decision regarding which medications may work best.  Additionally, providing a comprehensive list of previous practitioners you have worked with ensures that there are no holes in the medication management strategy.  An important part of medication management is being involved in your treatment planning.  Ask questions.  Express concerns or worries.  Your provider wants you to feel comfortable and confident in the recommendations they create for you.  

What are the Main Benefits of Medication Management

Medication management’s primary purpose is to ensure that patients feel their best and are on the right medications for them.  There are so many different medications to choose from, and having a provider who has extensive experience and expertise in prescribing will ensure you are receiving the best care possible.  

Mitigate Side Effects from Multiple Medications

If you’re taking more than one medication, sometimes they can mix together to create unpleasant side effects. Medication management experts know the ins and outs of prescriptions so they can help you prevent these side effects, either through medication changes, adjusting dosages, adding medications, or other remedies.

Medication Management

Save Money

Medications are expensive, especially if your insurance doesn’t cover a large portion of them. You can reduce the number of medications that you have to take through medication management. It may turn out that a different medication will treat more than one of your issues.  This is why a full medical history is obtained, and your full medical health is monitored for the duration of your treatment.  

Work with Experts Who Have Experience with Your Condition

Our medication management experts are intimately familiar with psychiatric medications and care. They make it their business to know the effects, contraindications, and uses for each medication to ensure that you’re taking the most effective and ideal medications for your needs.  They have the most up to date information as they engage in continuing education to learn about new research and treatment options.  

Medication Safety

Half of all deaths from medication are due to contraindications, errors in prescription, or incorrect dosage. Knowing all of the medications that you’re on, including dosages, etc, reduces the chances for potentially dangerous or even fatal errors.  It is important that you take your medication as prescribed, and discuss any and all concerns about your medication with your prescriber.   

Maryland Medication Management Services

GBCC Counseling currently offers medication management services at all of our Maryland locations and via online telehealth appointments for those who are currently taking medications or would like to explore medication as an option in their treatment plan.

The appointment takes place with a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner who has extensive training and expertise in treating a wide range of problems or concerns. Each of our providers have additional advanced degrees or training, making them uniquely suited to specific ages ranges and concerns.  Patients should bring their previous medical records and lists of all current medications that they are taking.  Be sure to complete the intake forms sent to you prior to your appointment or arrive early enough to fill out forms.

In addition, we offer a Patient Portal where patients are able to make request refills, contact their provider directly, and more. If you have questions about the importance of medication management or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us here or give us a call at 410.760.9079 option 2.  

We’re here to meet you where you are!

GBCC is growing!

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In an ever changing, fast-paced world, the demand for mental health professionals is growing. We have noticed an increase in more and more people reaching out for help to get through difficult times. While it is not easy to know that there are more and more people in need of help, we are happy to be here to assist people through it. Because of this, we have been expanding our clinical staff. There has never been a better time to book an appointment with us. We have day and evening appointments and our new clinical staff come from a variety of backgrounds and have many years of experience. Call today to schedule an appointment with one of our new clinical staff.

Jill Camm, LCSW-C

Milton, Hawkins, LCSW-C

Arlene Levinson, LCSW-C

Martha Monaghan, LCSW-C

Sarah Simpson, PhD

Karey Skinner, LCSW-C

Susan Tangires, LCPC

Marilyn Yunk, LCSW-C

Welcome!

Marriage & Couples Therapy

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There are many therapeutic models for helping couples having trouble in their relationships.

The model I have found most successful is a communications model. This approach begins with the assumption that problems in relationships begin when the couple stops communicating well. Poor communications can take the form of distorted messages or simply the lack of any message at all.

I like to compare it with the Rorschach inkblot that is sometimes used in psychological testing. The inkblot is deliberately ambiguous and this ambiguity allows the person being tested to project their own fears and imaginings onto the blot. The couple has a relationship field of information consisting of daily micro-encounters with each other. They include the words they speak, their gestures, their body language, their comings and goings, and even things as seemingly as trivial as where they sit in the family room to watch television. If this field is ambiguous, that is if there is little communicated meaning, one or both members of the dyad are free to project their own meaning onto it. If these projections are not reality tested, they are assumed to be true and over time build up a critical mass. Since us humans typically fill up information voids with “monsters,” the result can be ever increasing resentment and hostility.

The communication model assumes that poor communication is self reinforcing within the relationship. If one member, for example, starts to become resentful about her partner working long hours and not spending much time with the family, she may assume that he does not want to spend time with the family. In reality, he may be trying to make extra money for the family’s economic security or may simply be acting out an old work ethic he inherited from his family of origin. Her assumption causes her to be more distant, feeling that she is no longer loved. He picks up on her coolness and assumes that she is less invested in the relationship and begins, based on this assumption, to stay away more and more. Thus the cycle, which I refer to as a toxic dance, is set in motion and neither member knows how to call attention to it.

I encourage couples to start to notice the toxic dance and understand how it got started and how it built up its momentum. Thus, we will frequently go back to a time when communication was better and do a history to understand how it deteriorated. Frequently, it is some stressful event that the couple did not handle well: the birth of a child, an economic setback, the death of an extended family member or the chronic illness of a child. These events cause stress fractures in the relationship and frequently begin a cycle of non-communication, resentment, and distancing.

We may also visit the couple’s own family of origin to look at communication patterns each brought into the relationship. Did either come from a family that was conflict avoidant, or had trouble talking honestly about feelings, or used shouting or even violence to settle conflicts? Did one member come from a family that favored strictness and routine in raising their children while the other came from a family that preferred a more casual and lenient approach? Was sexuality a taboo or difficult topic in one family and not in the other? Did one family emphasize frugality in spending and the other more spontaneity and a “live for the moment” approach? Did one favor a hard work ethic and the other allow for playful spontaneity? These differences inevitably are brought into the marriage and create conflict. Frequently, the couples I see have been unable to communicate with each other about them so have been unable to reach a middle ground, have given up, withdrawn, and harbor a lot of resentment.

Under the communication model, infidelity is seen as a symptom of an underlying disease. Just as a physician would not treat a patient’s dangerous fever without looking for the underlying cause, so I would not help the couple work past the infidelity without looking for the underlying cause of the affair. Frequently, it is an increasing lack of intimacy caused by growing resentment driven by poor communication. (This is not to excuse the infidelity but to give a reason for it, and I will not conduct marriage therapy with a couple while an affair is continuing). In my experience, most couples are able to come to an understanding of what caused the affair and their relationship actually becomes stronger.

The therapy will thus emphasize honest and direct communication. In session I will insist that both listen carefully to the other without interrupting, whether or not each agrees or disagrees with what is being said. I will look for ambiguous exchanges between the two and ask for clarity. I will note non-verbal communication in the session and inquire what it means. I will note asymmetries in communication such as one member talking much more than the other, and attempt to readjust the balance. I will constantly reality test what is said if I think there are hidden meanings, innuendos, sub-plots, or subtle put downs, I will demand clarity. The session becomes a practice for the couple. The goal is for the couple to learn honest and direct communication and thus immunize themselves from future problems. The goal is described in the old saying, “Give me a fish, I eat for a day. Teach me to fish and I eat for a lifetime.”

In the vast majority of cases I have found that this approach brings relief to the couple in a reasonably short amount of time. However, certain characteristics of one or both members of the couple may impede progress and cause me to recommend individual therapy before the MT can proceed. In these cases I will suspend marriage therapy and refer one or both partners to a provider I believe can help them.

Substance abuse. When one or both members are chemically dependent, progress in marriage therapy is impossible until the substance abuse is treated. This is true because for the person dependent on alcohol or drugs, the focus is on the substance and not on fixing the relationship and the whole relationship is conditioned by the addiction..

Narcissism. A person is narcissistic if he or she must erect and maintain a grandiose persona that needs constant affirmation. This persona, which is a defense against feelings of worthlessness, cannot abide criticism, no matter how gently or constructively offered. Improved communication often cannot penetrate this need for constant stroking as it operates on a subconscious level and the narcissist has little insight about its function as a defense mechanism.

Passive Dependence. A person adopting a stance of extreme passivity and dependence creates huge problems in the relationship. This person is not able to adequately assert and verbalize their needs as they are always deferring to their partner. Thus, an asymmetrical dominant/dependent relationship is maintained. Individual therapy is often needed in this case, both to uncover the origin of the dependency and to work on assertiveness.

Perfectionism/Control Issues. If one partner demands perfection of the other and insists on rigid control of their behavior, communications training alone often cannot help. Frequently control issues manifest as excessive neatness, an ongoing effort to make their partner over into what they view as a better person, or unreasonable jealousy. Often, this characteristic comes from early trauma. Individual therapy is required to uncover the origins for the need for unreasonable control and to practice letting go of it in ordinary life situations.

Borderline Features A borderline client has little sense of a self and desperately clings onto their partner in what I call a Velcro relationship. There is little room left for the partner to be an individual. Small disappointments and short absences are treated as disasters. Feelings about the other switch rapidly and tend to be absolute, that is, the other is vilified or idolized. Individual therapy is required to retrain the borderline person to tolerate reasonable separateness and to modulate their “roller coaster” feelings about the other.

submitted by: Jerry Lawler, PhD

June is National PTSD Awareness Month

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The National Center for PTSD has designated June National PTSD awareness month. PTSD has become a household acronym in the US but do we have an understanding of what it really is? Let’s talk about some history. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) gained notoriety during the Vietnam war in the 1970s when the phrase was coined, but symptoms were being detected in military service men back during the second World War where people classified it as “shell shock.” It was not until the 1980’s when the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) classified it as a diagnosis. Since that time research has taken off and in the recent years it has gained more attention.

Here are some basics:

PTSD is a stress reaction to a traumatic event lasting longer than 3 months causing impairment in home or work life. Many people report reliving the event and the feelings of the event, hypervigilance, anxiety, nightmares, poor sleep, avoidant behavior, difficulty concentrating, and dramatic changes in beliefs or feelings. Although PTSD is more frequently seen in military population, many other people who have suffered a trauma can be living with it. Many people seek counseling and medication to help overcome the symptoms. Learn more about PTSD at the National Center for PTSD. If you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and are ready to start counseling, please contact us today. We have therapists who work with individuals with PTSD.

submitted by: Steven Plummer, LCPC

Emotionally Contagious

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I read an article on Psychology Today that talked about being “emotionally contagious.” What does that mean, you might be asking? In essence, what you express through nonverbal communication can influence others around you. You might be able to conduct a little “experiment” yourself around your office at work or even at home with your family and notice this very quickly. If you are happy and your body language shows others that you are happy (smiling, upbeat, open posture) you might notice that the mood of others around you improves. The inverse of this is likely also true. If you are having a bad day and you shut yourself down (poor eye contact, folded arms, low energy) you may notice that people will start to reflect some of that behavior. You may be thinking, “wow, how full of yourself do you have to be to think that the way you act influences people that much?” But it’s true! Much of who we are as humans relies on our interactions with other humans and sometimes if we are down or are having a bad day, having that one or two people around you that can brighten your spirits can dramatically change that. This is also a good lesson for us to take a look at our own behavior and what we put out in the world. Many times we choose to let bad days ruin our mood. Making a positive choice to have a good day or positive attitude can not only improve your mood but the mood of those around you. I try to make every effort when I can to examine myself during the day to see what I’m putting out in the universe and how that affects my clients, coworkers, friends, and family. I hope that you will take some time each day to reflect and say to yourself “how am I really doing today?” If the answer to that question is more consistently, “not well” consider talking to one of our dedicated professionals who are here to help.

submitted by: Steven Plummer, LCPC

National Counseling Awareness Month!

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April is National Counseling Awareness Month!

April is National Counseling Awareness Month. This time is set aside to not only honor those professionals who do the work, but to help people understand what counseling is and how it can benefit them. There are lots of benefits to going to counseling and yet some people still do not reach out. So let’s talk some basic facts. What do you know about counseling?

What is the difference between a counselor, a social worker a psychologist, and a psychiatrist?

Each of these professionals provide some form of counseling and differ just slightly in their training and/or amount of time they spent in their training program:

Licensed Psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.): Doctorate in Psychology; 4-5 years of school and at least 1-2 years of post-doctoral experience providing counseling and/or psychological testing.

Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC): Master’s in Counseling and minimum two years post masters providing counseling.

Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical (LCSW-C): Master’s in Social Work and minimum two years post masters providing counseling or clinical social work.

Psychiatrist (M.D.): Medical Doctor with specialization in psychiatry; often prescribes medication. Psychologists, Counselors, and Social Workers cannot prescribe medication.

What is counseling?

A collaboration between a professional and a client to work towards a common goal of relieving stress or lack of coping by addressing problems that often relate or influence relationships, work, or other areas of functioning.

I thought only crazy people needed counseling…

Counseling is still very stigmatized in our society but the truth is that most people at any given point in their lives can benefit from having someone that is not their family or friends to help with a problem.

How does it work?

In general, you meet with us once a week and talk about some of the problems on your mind. We will listen to you and work with you to find out what is going on and how to best help you. Many people feel anxious or worried about coming to counseling for the first time. This is normal. The important part is to remember that we are here to help and not to judge.

These are just some basic facts. If you’d like more information, Check out this fact sheet published by the American Counseling Association.

If you were thinking about going to counseling, there is no time like the present. We’re ready to support you!

submitted by: Steven Plummer, LCPC