How to Deal with Difficult People

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Dealing with Difficult People

We all know someone who gets under our skin. They could be passive-aggressive, lack empathy, or simply have an annoying or difficult personality type that is in stark contrast to our own personal values –and they drive us crazy! Perhaps you dread interactions with these types of people because you know it will leave you feeling frustrated, patronized, devalued or seething with rage because of something they said or did. Believe it or not, you don’t have to avoid difficult people altogether.  Here is some advice for how to deal with them while maintaining your own sanity.

Why do I dislike this person so much?

When being around a difficult person triggers negative emotions, it can take a toll on our mental health. Even if you don’t react to them in the moment, suppressing your own feelings can be harmful to your overall mental well-being.

Author and certified wellness coach Allaya Cooks-Campbell suggests that first you must recognize how a difficult person’s behavior makes you feel; Do interactions with them leave you feeling angry, sad, insulted, or dismissed? She says, “Being able to label the feelings helps to pull you out of reactivity mode and into curiosity — a much more productive (and less explosive) space.” Once you can name your feelings and be aware of exactly what the negative reaction is you are having, then you can move on to taking the following actions that will help you to actively cope with the person for a more positive outcome:

Don’t engage or reciprocate in arguments with difficult people

When dealing with difficult people you should always avoid divisive topics and personal issues such as religion and politics. If the other person tries to talk about these subjects (or something closely related that could open a door to conflict) and you know going into it that you will not agree with their side, then avoid taking the bait. You probably know by now how conversations in these subject matters can be unproductive and with a difficult person they are more likely to devolve into insults, personal attacks or other unfavorable outcomes. 

Try and remember that sometimes difficult people say things for the sake of instigating a disagreement. However, that doesn’t mean you have to engage.  If they are yelling, it is natural for us to want to yell back. If they are insulting, it’s natural to want to say something hurtful in response. However, these reactions usually will not make you feel better. Think of this as you being more mindful of your own self-care. When you make a conscious decision not to participate in an argument or disagreement you are actually saving yourself time and energy. If we intentionally avoid these discussions, we also avoid the onset of negative emotions and the unpleasant physiological reactions that come with them (increased blood pressure, anxiety, headaches, and sleeplessness after-the-fact). Preserve your mental health and choose a different path.

Don’t expect difficult people to change 

Here’s something everyone says that is easier said than done:  Remember to focus on what is under your control. Another person’s thoughts, words and personality type are, unfortunately, not something any of us can control.  In addition, a person who is difficult is likely not this way because of anything you said or did.  The even harsher reality is, they are probably lacking the awareness and emotional self-control needed to react any differently under stress. So, rather than focus on how they might react or behave in situations, try focusing on yourself and your own choice words and actions. 

So, what does that look like? Here’s an example: If someone tells you, “Anyone who thinks like that is stupid…”, your gut reaction may be to defend yourself or call them stupid.  Instead, try this approach: listen to learn. Let the other person keep speaking and explain their rationale. You can do this in a way that is even complementary by saying something like, “Wow, it’s nice to hear a different opinion and to consider this from all sides. Thank you for being so honest and telling me how you feel.”  You don’t have to agree with them, but interrupting or being defensive will not diffuse or make them any less opinionated (or grating).

Verbal and de-escalation tips for difficult people

If the person is already upset and being difficult, here are some ways you can de-escalate the situation. Try slowing down before you speak, practicing good active listening habits (not arms folded or eyes-rolling), pay attention to your breathing (make sure you aren’t sighing), and choose words carefully. Rather than telling someone, “You aren’t making any sense,” try saying this instead: “Can you help me understand what you mean?” You might be surprised how controlling the tone of the interaction and being more intentional with words can lighten the mood. 

In addition to practicing your calm breathing and active listening, pay attention to the hidden need. Difficult people are generally motivated by something —whether it be power, money, attention, control. Figure out what drives them and it might give you better insight as to why they behave a certain way. Dr Samantha Rodman, Clinical Psychologist, says of this topic, “It can be transformative to realize that a difficult person is that way because of their own history and personality, and that your behavior plays a much smaller role in how they respond to you than you might think.” Sometimes, just having a better understanding of a person and their pain points will help you to better manage your reactions and feelings of contempt.

Stay fluid – there is no “one size fits all” solution

Always keep in mind that every person is unique and there is no magic formula for getting along with everyone, all the time. Your goal should be to feel satisfied with your own choice words and behaviors and you can do that by staying true to yourself and your values, no matter how difficult someone else is being. Practicing your own emotional self-control and measured responses will go a long way in preventing another person’s thoughts, words and behaviors from rattling you to the point of physical or mental anguish. 

Sources: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-the-questions/201503/20-expert-tactics-dealing-difficult-people

Talkspace: Four tips to dealing with difficult people

5 Ideas to Practice Summer Self-Care

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What does “self-care” look like?

When we talk about preserving one’s mental health, often times the term “self-care” gets brought up. What does it mean? According to the National Institute of Mental Health, self-care means, “Taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health.”  Typically, some everyday self-care rituals we can practice include things like drinking enough water, getting a good night’s sleep, or practicing gratitude. However, with the onset of summer, there are some self-care rituals that might only be available (or, best enjoyed) during warmer months and longer days. Here are a few we recommend: 

Add fresh fruit to your water bottle

While fruit may be available year-round in the supermarket, some of them really do taste better during the summer months. Strawberries, blueberries, peaches and cantaloup are just a few of the many fruits that are much more enjoyable better between June-August, when they are ripe and fresh off the vines. 

Schedule weekly visits to your local farmer’s market

As if the above ritual of adding fruit to your water bottle didn’t convince you enough, summer months are also the best time to enjoy most vegetables at your local farm stand. Corn, tomatoes, asparagus, lettuce are all fresher and taste better when purchased from a local vendor in your region. In addition, many farmer’s markets offer specialty hand-made items not found in your grocery store (think: organic soaps, candles, and honey made from local bees). Carve out extra time to visit these markets weekly in your area and allow your senses enjoy what they have to offer during the summer months. 

Ride a bike each day

While this can be done during any season, bicycling is best enjoyed in nature when the sun is shining and the daylight hours are abundant. Many state parks offer recreational bike trails where you can see birds, deer, and other animals in their natural habitat during the warm season. If you’re intimated by off-road biking, then try pedaling around your neighborhood to a local park or along a riverfront. Biking is also a great social activity and there might be groups of people in your area who meet up just for the purpose of enjoying a bike ride in summer. A quick web search should help you find any such groups.

Take a month-long break from social media

We know social media is bad for your mental health and yet, so many of us have a hard time staying off. Challenge yourself to delete social apps from your phone during one (or all) of the summer months and experiment with living your life and having thoughts and opinions that are NOT shared with your friends and followers. In addition, think about how muting the daily amplification of your friends’ and followers’ thoughts, opinions and daily activities might improve your mood and give you back the free time you need to be present for what is happening around you in real time. 

Grab the local library’s summer reading list

Did you know most local libraries offer a summer reading list for people who need book ideas? If you can’t remember the last time you read a book and want to dive back in (Because, after all, you are taking a break from social media and now have time, right?), we suggest you start with recommendations from the professionals. If you’re intimidated by going to the library, you also might be able to get their book recommendations on their website and download the digital versions for free to a Kindle for a period of time (just like borrowing hardcover books).    

Make time for summer self-care

For best results, rituals of self-care should be practiced year-round. However, be sure to also make the most of the summer months and add some warm-weather activities and pleasures to your routine. Your mind and body will thank you! 

Pride Month: Mental Health Resources for the LGBTQ+ Community

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Happy Pride Month! June celebrates a community of diverse identities and expressions of gender and sexual orientation. And as we recognize the impact the LGBTQ+ community has had on history and the hurdles they have jumped over to achieve equal rights and respect, it is important to address the battles with mental health, too.

The LGBTQ mental health disparity

LGBTQ Mental Health

Thirty-nine percent of LGBTQ+ individuals living in the United States reported living with a mental illness during 2018. LGBTQ+ people have had to face stereotypes, shame, fear, discrimination, and traumatic events which can lead to these mental health struggles. LGBTQ adults are also twice as likely to struggle with their mental health than heterosexual adults, and transgender people are four times as likely than cisgender people.

Younger members of the community struggle with their mental health the most compared to other age groups, and are twice as likely to have persistent feelings of hopelessness and sadness than heterosexual people. Because of the negative stereotypes that were wrongly created in the past, it can be hard for LGBTQ+ people to come out in fear of rejection and loneliness from those around them.

It is important that, no matter what age, the LGBTQ+ community are able to turn to mental health professionals and seek the help they need to deal with any mental health struggles they may have.

At GBCC, we understand that access to affirming care can be a challenge for individuals in the LGBTQ community. GBCC is committed to being a safe place to seek therapy and support for those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, intersex, transgender, or gender nonconforming, and their family members. Services include individual and/or family therapy for children, adolescents, and adults. We also have therapists who can provide couples therapy or support to friends and loved ones of those who identify as LGBTQ.

Mental Health Resources for LGBTQ individuals

Here are a list of other resources available:

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

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You Are Not Alone

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it is important time to remind you that it is it okay to not be okay. While it might seem like you are the only one who is suffering at times, a lot more people than you may think are also struggling with their mental health. Around 50% of all Americans are diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder at some point in their lives, which means mental health struggles are very common throughout the United States.

Your mental health can change throughout your life. Many outside factors, from drastic change to economic troubles, can affect someone’s mind. Luckily, there are many resources and support out there to help you or a loved one struggling with their mental health. 1-in-5 Americans will struggle with mental illness in a given year, so it’s important to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that in any given room, you are not the only one.

Among these adults struggling with mental illness, about 60% were left untreated back in 2011. It’s important to take care of yourself and your mental health, as many mental illnesses can have an impact on your physical health. Depression, for example, can sometimes increase inflammation and change heart rate control, blood circulation, stress hormones, and metabolism. Long-term effects can even lead to conditions such as heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

With the amount of resources available and the conversation topic becoming more normalized, mental health is something everyone should acknowledge and take care of in order to live healthy, fulfilling lives. The National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) will be sharing blogs, personal stories, videos, digital toolkits, social media engagements and holding national events all month long to emphasize that you are not alone and that help is there for anyone who needs it.

Resources for Mental Health Awareness Month

During the month of May, GBCC Behavioral Health recognizes Mental Health Awareness Month to remind the community that mental health is essential to overall health and those living with mental health issues are deserving of care, understanding, compassion, and pathways to hope, healing, recovery, and fulfillment.

Educational resources about mental health:  

Mental Health Myths and Facts 

About Mental Health

Learn about Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week

Children’s Mental Health information

Local Support Resources: 

Maryland Behavioral Health Administration

Treatment locator for substance abuse and other urgent mental health conditions

Managing Work-Related Burnout

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What is meant by “Burnout?”

Most of us, at some time or another, have experienced spells of exhaustion, hopelessness and feeling undervalued in our careers or work life. If you think these feelings have escalated since the onset of COVID-19, then you are not alone. A new study found that nearly 90% of respondents in more than 40 countries felt that their work lives got increasingly worse during the pandemic. And more than 60% felt that they were experiencing the phenomenon now commonly known as “burnout” often or very often.

burnout

So, what is burnout? WebMD defines “burnout” a form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling swamped. It’s a result of excessive and prolonged emotional, physical, and mental stress. Burnout happens when someone is feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to keep up with life’s incessant demands.

While burnout is not yet an officially medically diagnosed condition, it is believed to be the root cause of many physical, emotional and mental health issues. Prior to the pandemic, The World Health Organization (WHO) officially recognized burnout as a “syndrome” that was specifically tied to “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

Signs and Symptoms of Burnout

Mental health experts say it is critical for individuals to address burnout because it can have long-term consequences on their mental health – specifically, as a risk factor for depression, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts or feelings. 

What makes it different from clinical depression or anxiety is that the triggers for burnout are directly tied to a person’s relationship with their job. For many, setting boundaries for work-life balance became increasingly hard during the pandemic, as people shifted to teleworking from the comfort of their homes. The lines between work-life/home-life became blurred, increasing the risk for burnout. Experts say our brains are not wired to be chronically in fight-or-flight mode, so it’s important that we recognize when our thoughts and feelings are racing, and take a break.

Some physical signs you might be experiencing burnout include: feeling tired all of the time, frequent sickness from lowered immune system, frequent headaches, joint or muscle pain, changes in sleep patterns and/or appetite. 

Emotional and behavioral signs of burnout could look like: feelings of helplessness, feeling unmotivated, withdrawing from activities or responsibilities, using food or alcohol as a coping mechanism, procrastination, short-temperedness, starting work late or logging off early. 

Managing Burnout 

Experts advise that for people still working out of the home, keeping a daily routine of basic normalities like getting dressed, stepping away from one’s desk for lunch, and “logging off” at a reasonable hour (as you would if you were commuting daily).  These are all small changes in your day that can have a positive impact on your overall mental well-being. 

Employers can also help by addressing burnout head-on and encouraging an open dialogue about it in the workplace. Experts say that by talking openly about mental health stresses in an organization, employers, managers and employees can cultivate a healthier environment with a culture that normalizes these feelings, rather than creating shame or stigma around them.

Another way to combat burnout is to be more intentional with your time. Find causes or activities that are meaningful to you and carve out time to focus only on those. Whether it’s a sport/social club, or volunteering, simply interacting with people outside of work about things that interest you is a great way to disengage your brain from work and the stressors that lead to burnout. 

In addition, try taking a break from technology. Many people spend their “downtime” looking at their phone or the internet, which inevitably leads to them seeing a work email (or other work-related notification), or reading an article that reminds them about work. In that time, they weren’t actually disassociating from their job. Try to set aside time to be away from your phone, off your computer and away from social media entirely. 

If you are feeling the symptoms of burnout and need help, please contact us today. Our clinicians can help you manage expectations, create a plan for yourself that promotes resilience, and provide you with the tools you need to manage your personal self-care practices to avoid long-term burnout-related health issues. 

Sources :
https://www.npr.org/2021/03/08/974787023/burnout-isnt-just-exhaustion-heres-how-to-deal-with-it
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2022/03/09/majority-of-workers-who-quit-a-job-in-2021-cite-low-pay-no-opportunities-for-advancement-feeling-disrespected/

Understanding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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What is CBT?

If you’ve ever done an internet search for a talk therapist or counselor, you may have seen a lot of them list, “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,” or, “CBT” as a speciality or service provided. If you never studied psychology, you may have even wondered, “What is that and is it something I need?”

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of talking therapy that has been widely used to treat mental health disorders or emotional concerns since the 1950’s. The purpose of this form of therapy is to identify and challenge thoughts that are unhelpful to one’s mental well-being, and then provide alternative thinking patterns and behaviors to help improve the way patients think and feel (Klearminds, 2022).

The goal for patients entering into CBT is to improve their quality of life not by changing their circumstances of their day-to-day challenges, but to empower them to take control of the perception of those challenges, and then create new ways of thinking and feeling about them.  

History of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 

women in therapy

Albert Ellis was an American psychologist who helped pioneer and develop what is now modern cognitive therapy.  His work in the 1950’s was based on the idea that a person’s emotional distress arises from their thoughts about an event rather than the actual event itself.  Ellis was one of the first to correlate and analyze how irrational beliefs and generalized pessimism led to human misery and dysfunction (Univ of Birmingham, 2021). 

A few years after Ellis, American psychiatrist  Aaron T. Beck looked deeper into “thought distortions.” He researched whether holding negative views about self, others and the world, might be part of the reason somebody was depressed. Beck saw an even more direct link between thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and he discovered that although people aren’t always initially aware of negative thoughts, they can, in fact, learn to identify and report them. He found that people who were depressed had negative thoughts that tended to be unrealistic, and by uncovering and challenging these thoughts, long-lasting and positive changes could result (Beck Institute, 2022). 

Working with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist 

CBT can be extremely effective ― either alone or in combination with other therapies ― in treating mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, phobias, sleep disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an eating disorder, and more. But not everyone who benefits from CBT has a mental health condition. CBT can also be an effective tool for anyone who wants to learn how to better manage stressful life situations.

Mental health counselors (psychotherapist or therapist) specializing in CBT work with patients in a structured way, to help them become aware of false or negative thinking. Then, they will work with the patient on different ways to view challenging situations more clearly and how to respond to them in a more effective way.

CBT generally requires fewer sessions than other types of therapy, and patients are able to use the tools they learn in therapy and apply the concepts to coping with new problems as they arise.  

Setting Expectations for CBT

Patients who want to explore CBT should go into the treatment with an open-mind and an awareness that while situations may be immovable, their thoughts and feelings can change. Understand that CBT can help you develop more realistic expectations about yourself, others and the world – which can create real lasting peace and long-term fulfillment.  

A big component of CBT is being able to recognize the importance of flexibility in our ideas and expectations. Patients starting treatment should be prepared to consider the worst-case scenarios, but also recognize that they will survive. Patients who are successful in treatment will find that they have more awareness of strong, negative emotions, and then, in the future, be able to reflect on the unrealistic expectations that may have caused them. 

CBT can be very useful for addressing a litany of emotional challenges, such as coping with grief or loss, learning to cope with a medical illness, managing chronic physical symptoms, overcoming emotional trauma from abuse or violence, and resolving relationship conflicts (Mayo Clinic, 2022).

In some cases, CBT is most effective when it’s combined with other treatments, such as antidepressants or other medications.

Interested in speaking with a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy? Contact us today.

Sources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610

https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/schools/psychology/centres/rebt/about/beliefs.aspx

https://www.klearminds.com/blog/history-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/

www.beckinstitute.org

5 Things to Learn From Couples Therapy

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Contrary to popular belief, couples therapy doesn’t have to be reserved for relationships that are on the brink of collapse. In fact, there are a lot of things that can be learned and applied to couples who are willing to go through therapy aside from times of extreme conflict. Relationship therapists can also work with couples who, overall, are feeling mutually content, but who also might be seeking to preserve their bond and enhance their appreciation for one another.

Consider how working with a therapist on any one or more of the following skills could improve your self-awareness and your appreciation for your partner:

Communication

Everyone has a different way of communicating their emotions. It’s how we communicate to one another and how we approach our spouse with our needs and desires that is critical to having a healthy relationship. When couples live together for a period of time, they fall into communication habits that may or may not be beneficial to their growth and success. If one partner isn’t feeling heard or seen, negative behaviors like anger, defensiveness, or becoming withdrawn could set in. Even minor miscommunications can put a strain on a relationship. By figuring out why the miscommunications happen, a therapist can help you communicate in a way that is more understandable and healthier for both parties.

Deescalation 

Disagreements are a natural occurrence in relationships because each person has their own thoughts, desires, belief systems and routines. Your behaviors and feelings may not always be consistent with that of your partner. Conflicts that escalate into a fight (yelling, screaming, passive-aggressiveness, bringing up old wounds or the “silent treatment”) is where things get problematic. It’s important to recognize when a disagreement is spiraling out of control. Through therapy, couples can learn to resolve conflicts before they devolve into unhealthy and hurtful behaviors. 

Deeper Intimacy

In the beginning, relationships are often exciting and passionate because both individuals are making an effort to please each other. Over time, scheduled dates and winning each other over slowly gets replaced by the comforts of routine and repetition, especially when there is added pressure from jobs, raising children and endless household chores. Some couples may find that, over time, their relationship feels mundane or uninteresting. When you are your partner make a commitment to attend therapy, you are taking the first step to reigniting the old spark. Just making an effort to create more intentional “alone time” (even if that entails going to therapy) can bring about a deeper feeling of intimacy.  Sometimes, recalling how it felt back at the beginning of the relationship with a therapist can result in new and more intense feelings of passion. 

Moving Forward 

Some couples may find they need therapy to process and/or move on from old wounds such as a financial mistake, childhood trauma, the challenges of parenting, or any event that led to feeling trapped in a cycle of resentment. The therapist can help you navigate whatever is making you both feel contentious and help you get “unstuck.” Therapists can also bring about another perspective to help to foster better understanding of the behaviors that led to getting stuck.  Couples who gain more awareness may find it easier to forgive and even move away from the feelings of bitterness.  The best case scenario is you’ll get a renewed sense of hope and commitment for the future. 

Transitions 

Huge life transitions can generate friction and stress on both newer and long-term relationships. A big move, death of a loved one, career change, illness, retirement, adding children, or adjusting to an empty nest are all examples of life changes that can make or break a relationship. Couples can go to therapy for the purpose of restoring the connection they had before a huge life change altered their lives. Counselors help couples learn new ways to adapt and how support to each other as they acclimate to a new “normal.”

If you think you and your partner could benefit from couples therapy, please contact us today to set up an appointment. www.gbcc.com

Improve Mental Health in just 15 Minutes

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Nearly a quarter of all Americans say they make a New Year’s resolution, but only a third of them admit to actually keeping to them for an entire year.  Setting and achieving resolutions in a new year can prove to be challenging if the goals are too unrealistic in expectation or require a drastic overnight change in habits and mindset.  Here is a list of things you can do to improve mental health in just 15 minutes a day.

improve your mental health in 15 minutes a day

For those looking to start small, there are some activities you can do for just a few minutes each day that can greatly improve your overall mental health. You don’t have to start these in January, either. By dedicating  just 15-minutes a day towards small-but-well-meaning intentions, you will get a satisfying return on your overall mental well-being.

15 Minute-a-Day Activities that Will Improve Your Mental Health

Writing in a journal each day.

In a 2006 study, nearly 100 young adults spent 15 minutes journaling or drawing twice a week about a stressful event or writing about their plans for the day. The people who journaled saw the biggest reduction in symptoms of depression, anxiety, and hostility, particularly if they were distressed to begin with. Try writing a short paragraph about your day and the feelings you had as a way to be more mindful and present in your daily life. Taking time to have more awareness of our thoughts, feelings and environment allows us to be more at peace with our own life experiences. 

Reduce the amount of time you spend daily looking at social media.

A 2018 study by UPenn was the first of its kind to establish a causal relationship that social media usage increases feelings of depression and loneliness. The study found that participants who limited the amount of time they went on social media to just ten minutes per app daily showed a significant decrease in loneliness and depression. Slight decreases in anxiety and fear of missing out (FOMO) were also observed. Most smartphones now offer app “time limits” to help monitor how long you spend scrolling these apps. Look at the average amount of time you spent on social media last week and allot the same amount of time this week, minus 15 minutes. Gradually reduce the time each week to wean yourself off a potentially detrimental habit. 

Stop checking work emails during non-work hours.

A 2018 study entitled, “Killing me softly: electronic communications monitoring and employee and significant-other well-being,” researchers at Virginia Tech found that even being expected to check work email during non-work hours caused workers (and their spouses) to experience anxiety. Researchers explain the consequences for expecting employees to always be “on” is, in fact, compromising the employee’s and their family’s mental health. Make a conscious effort to stop reading work emails after a certain hour and give yourself back time to be present with loved ones.

fruit smoothies instead of coffee
Fruit smoothies are a great alternative to coffee for a natural energy boost without caffeine-induced jitters that mirror anxiety

Skip that afternoon cup of coffee.

85% of Americans consume coffee each day. It’s also not uncommon for workers, stay-at-home parents or even retirees to want to reach for a cup during an afternoon lull in energy. However, researchers indicate you may want to consider other less caffeinated options for an afternoon jolt. Studies show excessive caffeine consumption can cause symptoms similar to psychiatric conditions including sleep and anxiety disorders, increasing hostility, anxiety, and psychotic symptoms. One study from Harvard Medical School noted how caffeine use yields physical symptoms of anxiety, complete with nervousness, restlessness, sleep issues, increased heart rate and gastrointestinal problems. Experts recommend drinking healthier alternatives, such as fruit smoothies that take less than 15-minutes to prepare, can give you a more natural energy boost, and without the onset of feelings that closely mirror anxiety.  

Take a 15-minute walk each day.

Many people believe they need to commit to an intense workout regime to improve their physical well-being. Believe it or not, there are health benefits to adding even the smallest amount of movement into your 24-hour day. One study even found that walking outside just 15 minutes a week left people feeling more socially connected, and reporting bigger increases in positive emotions — including prosocial emotions such as gratitude and compassion, and also joy — while they were walking. The boost in prosocial emotions, specifically, carried through into everyday life. 

By choosing one or more of the above activities, you may be able to improve your mental health in just 15 minutes a day. The mental health professionals at GBCC Counseling Centers can help you explore small changes you can make to improve your mental health and help you work toward them. In addition to individual therapy sessions, we also offer various telehealth group therapy sessions three days a week. To schedule an appointment, call 410.760.9079.

Sources:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_journaling_can_help_you_in_hard_times

https://www.consumeraffairs.com/news/expectations-to-answer-work-emails-after-hours-hurts-employees-health-study-finds-081018.html

https://www.healthline.com/health/caffeine-and-anxiety#caffeine-and-anxiety

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201606/15-minutes-daily-walking-could-save-your-life

https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/happiness-loneliness-study-awe-walk.html

Is your job affecting your mental health?

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Find out if your level of work-related stress is normal

Let’s face it: There are many people reading this who don’t love their jobs 100% of the time. No job is perfect. Some days are a breeze and then others can be stressful, or, even a bit taxing. It is important to know the line between when a job can is giving you “normal” amounts of stress and when it’s crossed over to being toxic. If you find yourself miserable at work, consider the signs that your job may be detrimental to your mental health.

Signs your job is negatively effecting your mental health

Consider how often you experience the following asa result of work:

1. While you are there, you find it hard to feel anything but negative thoughts and emotions. You’re easily irritated with your coworkers or boss.

2. You feel situationally depressed or anxious. If you are feeling a sense of extreme dread on Sundays when looking at the upcoming week or your anxiety is at an all-time high if your phone dings because you are worried it will be a work-related notification, this could be an indication that negative feelings about work have transitioned to your personal life.

3. You feel physically ill. When your mental health takes a toll, it can affect your physical health too. Migraines, stomach aches from indigestion, or insomnia can all be physical ailments caused by work-related stress. If these are an everyday occurrence, it’s probably time to consider a job-change

4. It takes the entire weekend to recharge and feel better. When work emotionally exhausts you to the point where you don’t feel like yourself, even after a 48-hour break.

5. You struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Some days you may just be more tired, but if this is happening more and more frequently, your body could be reacting to the stress you’re holding inside about going to work each day.

6. You don’t take breaks at work. If you don’t have a second to breathe when you’re at work and take a proper break, this can create a toll on your mental health. Drowning in work for eight-to-ten hours straight is too taxing, both physically and emotionally.

7. You can no longer relax at home or take care of yourself. You’re disinterested in do things at home that you usually enjoy and unable to have a routine. Your body is either completely drained at all times, or you feel like you’re on high alert because you are constantly in a state of flight or fight.

8. You over-indulge after a workday. If you find yourself wanting to drink alcohol more during the week (or weekends), or indulge in “comfort” foods like salty snacks or sweets, this could also be a sign that your job is affecting your mental well-being.  

9. Increasing your daily alcohol consumption and snacking can both lead to weight gain, which can also result increased listlessness and depression. If you think your job is making you want to consume more sugar, fat, salt and drink alcohol more frequently, this could be the result of your brain seeking a means of short-term physical comfort. Using food to self-medicate against negative emotions isn’t uncommon as there is a lot of scientific evidence correlating our cravings to emotional memory and reward systems in the brain (i.e. eating foods that remind us of holidays and times we feel good).  Unfortunately, the long-term effects of indulgeing in unhealthy stress-induced eating and drinking can have serious long-term negative effects on your mental and physical health.

Remember: Work-life balance is essential. Ignoring these signs of a mentally draining job can result in seriously negative physical and mental behaviors and feelings. If your job is affecting your mental health, reach out to the Oasis team and we can help you identify the causes of your work-related stress and anxiety and give you the tools for managing those feelings.

No job is worth your own well-being and you should always put yourself first.

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Sources: 
https://blogs.webmd.com/mental-health/20200228/8-signs-your-job-may-be-toxic-for-your-mental-health
https://www.insider.com/all-the-signs-that-your-job-is-wreaking-havoc-on-your-mental-health-2017-11#you-dont-take-breaks-during-the-workday-3
https://www.workandmoney.com/s/mental-health-compromised-job-e3faa5d8f3614ec5

How to Help Someone With Anxiety: Dos and Don’ts

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Like many people, you may not know how to help someone with anxiety. Our experienced anxiety therapists  have been helping Maryland and Virginia residents for years.  It’s a tricky mental health disorder. Unlike some other medical conditions, the physical symptoms don’t tell the whole story. People with anxiety often experience an internal struggle as they experience concerns that might seem trivial to the average person but feel crippling to them. Not understanding what a person is going through can make it challenging to help a friend, partner, or family member. Here are some expert tips that can guide you.

How to Help Someone with Anxiety

How to Help Someone with Anxiety

DO: Pay Attention to Anxious Behaviors and Understand Where They Come From  

As the most prevalent mental health disorder in the United States, anxiety impacts roughly 18% of the country. The signs of anxiety, however, aren’t always easy to notice. 

Loved ones may complain of physical symptoms, such as being lightheaded or nauseous, feel muscle tension, or they might constantly seem on edge. However, in many cases, anxious behaviors are the first thing you’ll notice. For instance, many people who struggle with anxiety:

  • Worry excessively
  • Second-guess themselves
  • Act compulsively
  • Seek reassurance and validation

Irrational thought patterns drive these types of behavior. Whether it’s overly negative thinking or an all or nothing attitude, the result is a constant state of worry that begins to manifest itself with these actions.

Many individuals will need talk therapy and possibly medication management for anxiety disorders. However, family members, significant others, and close friends can learn to identify these behaviors as the first point of contact. From there, they can provide emotional support.

DON’T: Dismiss Your Loved One’s Feelings

Your heart might be in the right place if you say things like, “Relax,” or, “It’s no big deal.” In your mind, you might be trying to minimize the problem for your loved ones. However, in their minds, these statements may have the opposite effect. While you may be trying to put them at ease, you’re ultimately dismissing their feelings.   

DO: Show Compassion and Support

Instead of telling them how to feel, acknowledge their emotions. Part of providing support is to be there to listen to your loved ones. You want them to feel comfortable using you as a sounding board.

Remember: even if their worries sound irrational to you, they’re palpable to your loved one. Be empathetic.

DON’T: Force Loved Ones to Talk About Their Feelings

While you want them to feel like they can talk to you about their anxiety, you shouldn’t force them to do so. Although encouraging your loved ones to talk is a good idea, demanding that they share their innermost feelings could feel confrontational to theml.

Don’t take it personally if your loved ones aren’t ready to share their feelings. It’s difficult for many people with anxiety to open up, even if—and sometimes especially if—it’s to the people they love the most. While they may love us, they may feel as though we’ll be judgmental.  

DO: Consider Helping Loved Ones Find a Mental Health Professional

When trying to understand how to help someone with anxiety, remember that love, support, and a willingness to listen are the three most essential elements. However, you don’t have to be your loved one’s sole pillar of stability. In fact, because treating anxiety requires such a high level of sensitivity, it’s best to involve compassionate mental health professionals who know how to help someone with anxiety.

Is someone in your life struggling with anxiety? GBCC Counseling Centers can help. We offer both individual and telehealth group counseling for Maryland residents. Whether it’s in-person or virtually, we provide a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere. Call us today at 410-760-9079.

    

Tips for Coming up with New Year’s Resolutons for Your Mental Health

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With 2021 coming to a close, it’s the perfect time to take some personal inventory. Do you have aspects of your life that would like to improve in 2022? Our compassionate mental health professionals support clients in self reflection and making goals for improving quality of life. Perhaps we can even help you come up with actionable New Year’s resolutions for your mental health. Here are some tips.

New Year’s Resolutions for Your Mental Health

Start with the Positive

Did you perform well at your job? Did you learn a new skill? Did you make new friends or re-connect with family members? 

When trying to come up with New Year’s resolutions for your mental health, ask yourself this first: what went well this year? Many individuals become so wrapped up in the negative without considering the positive.

One approach used at GBCC Counseling Centers is to use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to transform unhealthy or faulty thought patterns into positive ones. Learning to celebrate victories instead of constantly focusing on the negatives is a good example. Whether you joined a book club with an old friend or you learned how to cook, acknowledge those wins.

Do You Take Enough Time for Yourself?

During individual counseling sessions, one of the primary concerns clients express is that they’re always busy and don’t have enough down time. While working allows us to take care of our families and afford necessities, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your well-being.

Whether it’s finding a new hobby, learning a new skill, or simply getting more sleep, self-care can’t go ignored.

Make Realistic Goals

To be clear, you should keep an optimistic attitude as often as possible. With that being said, try to set attainable goals. Remember: it’s progress, not perfection. Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, most people don’t become millionaires overnight.

It also helps to think in stages and set reasonable milestones along the way. For instance, let’s say you want to become more physically active and choose healthy meals each day. It’s easier to think of changing one small behavior and slowing building over time as opposed to stressing yourself out about making lots of large changes all at once. Perhaps you should think of adding 10 minutes of activity a couple days per week or choosing one healthy food at a meal instead of focusing on the total goal. 

Practice Positive Affirmations

In the game of life, you are your most important cheerleader. Whether on a piece of paper, in your head, or in front of a mirror, practicing positive affirmations is one of the best things you can do to improve your self-esteem. Some common affirmations include:

  • “I’m worth it.”
  • “I’m going to have a great day.”
  • “I am in control of my choices.”
  • “I believe in myself.”

Acknowledge that You’re a Work in Progress

As you come up with New Year’s resolutions for your mental health, understand that you might not accomplish all of your goals by the end of 2022. What matters most is that you practice self kindness every single day by recognizing that your best does not mean perfection.  

Additionally, it can be tempting to compare yourself to those around you. Comparing yourself to peers could be a recipe for disaster. Instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’, focus on keeping yourself aligned with your personal life values.


The mental health professionals at GBCC Counseling Centers can help you explore healthy New Year’s resolutions for your mental health, and help you work toward them. In addition to individual therapy sessions, we also offer various telehealth group therapy sessions three days a week. To schedule an appointment, call 410.760.9079.

5 Conflict Resolution Techniques for Families

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Conflict is a normal part of the human experience. Everyone has their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It’s no surprise that disagreements arise, especially when families gather. In fact, avoiding conflict altogether is unhealthy. 

Knowing conflict resolution techniques and how to handle these types of situations can make it easier to walk away from a family gathering feeling at peace, rather than frustrated or even angry. Try working through these techniques the next time you find yourself in the midst of a conflict.

5 Conflict Resolution Techniques

1. Attack the Problem, Not the Person

One thing that’s been happening more frequently in the past couple of years is people attacking each other rather than discussing the problem at hand. It is possible to disagree with someone and still count them as a friend or loved one. 

Instead of placing an attack on someone’s character, just talk about the issue at hand. Consider both sides of the coin using empathy and understanding. Even if you leave the conversation still feeling the same way, you worked to keep a relationship intact instead of placing blame or shaming someone, which can lead to defensive behavior very quickly.

2. Listen and Acknowledge

In any conflict, whether it’s over who should do the dishes or who should be leading the country, people almost always already have set opinions. If you find yourself arguing points in your head before the other person has even finished what they’re saying, you’re not alone. This is often the most natural way to respond to an argument – but it isn’t the healthiest or most efficient.

While it takes practice to slow down and listen to the other person, you may learn something unexpected about the other person and their point of view. It’s easy to assume that you already know what they’re going to say – instead, listen carefully and then repeat their important points back to them.

Respect is critical to any conflict resolution technique. 

3. Use “I” Statements

It’s important to remember that your feelings are your own. Nobody makes you feel a certain way. Instead of saying, “You made me feel terrible,” try something along the lines of “When you talk down to me, I feel angry and frustrated.”

It helps to both name the feelings and take ownership of them, all while being open with the other person about their actions. This helps take some of the feeling of blame away so you can both look at the problem for a more objective space.

4. Focus on the Conflict That’s Happening Now

Old hurts often come up when you’re in a conflict with someone – while talking about those conflicts is important, too, it’s rarely productive when dealing with the conflict at hand. It can cause the issue to become muddled, adding to previous conflicts rather than helping to settle anything new.

Remember, this is not an attack on a person, but a chance to work through something that’s bothering both of you.

5. Work Together to Come Up with Solutions

For some conflicts, the solution is to agree to disagree. However, for many issues, you can work together with the other person to brainstorm solutions that will work for all parties. Always have a solution ready, but be open to listening to the other person’s ideas, too. You may be able to compromise or form an even better solution when you put your heads together.

Peaceful problem solving is always preferable to yelling and screaming.

If you need more help coming up with peaceful conflict resolution techniques, a qualified therapist can help. They can also work with you to help you understand what is a conflict worth resolving and what is a relationship that may no longer be healthy for either party. 


Questions or want to get in touch with a therapist? Drop us a line.